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Happy Mu’fuckin Birthday Best Friend! :D

        Alright well tonight’s the night you turn 15.  Damn, it sure don’t seem like it, you seem too mature to be just turnin 15.  But yeah, we had our ups and downs, rises and falls, but in the end we stuck around for each other and that’s what matters.  Haha, I remember way back when you wanted to be my play sister and i said no, well I wanna let you know that you’re like a sister to me and I love you more than you probably think.  You put yourself down waay too damn much and you put others before you, but what you don’t realize is just how amazing you truly are.  Well you’re feelin pretty down right now, and if you had a phone i’d give you a call to let you know just how much i care, but for now this is the best i can do.  So Good Night, Sweet Dreams, and I Love You Mellania MJ Cecillia Lee Sog <3

You’re ONE OF A KIND and don’t you ever forget that!

feelin straight up wit u punkass niggas.

I know one of you girls got big mouths and gonna send this shit out, I’m countin on it. All you niggas out there thinkin im tryna get at ur girls. Hahaha get yo shit straight, cuz i ain’t tryna get ur girls. If you got a problem we can settle it. Don’t be goin around tellin ppl im stealin ur girl from you and callin me a playa. Let’s get shit straight, first of all, you niggas needa stop checkin me out. It’s homo. I don’t give a fuck if you think i’m cuter than you, and you’re gonna “lose to me” or whatever the fuck. If you treat ur laydee right, u aint got nothin to be scared of. NO I’M NOT TRYNA STEAL UR GIRLS.

i really really really

don’t like april fool’s. haha sorry i’m updatin all late, but that was a good one mel… -__________- don’t do it again. hahas seriously -__-.

Alright well i’m listenin to Hate (I really don’t like you) by Plain White T’s. Don’t ask why, i just like it. Jenn popped into my head when I heard this song. And I went onto her profile and just started singin it horribly. I’m hella fuckin retarded xD

FUUUCK

so my shoulder is fucked up still. my fault -___- damn, it doesn’t hurt, but it’s twitching right now. WTF!

Tomorrow morning my “sister,” her daughter, and her girlfriend are back from the cruise. I don’t think i can stand seeing her face now that I know she’s not my blood sister. I’ve spent almost 16 years of my life being deceived. Whenever she’d hit me, I’d take it as “she’s doin whats good for me.” But now I know she just did it out of her own amusement.

I remember christmas eve when I was 3. The family had a party and all the adults got drunk. I guess I did something wrong and my “sister” who was 17 at the time got mad at me.  She dragged me by the ear to the bathroom and locked the door. She beat me and I cried, but nobody heard, I guess they were all too drunk to hear me screaming. When she was done beating me I couldn’t even cry anymore, especially since she warned me not to, otherwise she’d beat me even worse.

Lookin back on this, I’m angry. Who is she to beat me. What right does she have to touch me. Well now i can handle myself. I don’t plan on stayin home when they come back. So just hit up my cell and idk, i’ll probably be sleepin over at someone’s pad.

try to keep your head up…

Last night, everyone at the party was either drinking, getting high, or popping pills.  It shocked me how much everyone had bottled up inside. Some people had it harder than others, but i noticed that we all had it hard.

One of the homies confided in me about his troubles at home and his girl problems. It hit me hard when he told me he thought about commiting suicide. I mean, this is a guy I met this year and he’s almost 18. But I understood what he was talking about, and thought about my life. Yeah, i fucked up alot, but i didn’t deserve this.

Too much to get into details about, just wow. And to think, there’s more she’ll tell me in 3 weeks. What if i never found out these things?

today

i realized that i forgot my old tumblr’s password, so i made this new one. well i’m at my cousin’s pad with my sister and everyone and we’re spendin the night here. seaworld tomorrow i guess?

…yippee -__-
i’ve been feelin indescribable… and its not a good feeling.